Suicide


I'm an OAP at Uniport radio. My name is Bliss Eva. I rarely ever sit to write. It's just different now.
There's a lot in my head, I need to unload
I got a text yesterday:
"vulnerability is strength, sweetie
breath in, then breath out. You can't suck it all in."
You will choke like that.
Breath in, then breath out.

Someone called in on the radio last week. Stella was her name. I was on air, and she should have requested a song, but she was crying.
”Hello, can you speak up please?” I said in my OAP voice. I wanted to say “this is not the call-in-cry-out-your-heart show”
Sniff. Sniff
“I’m Stella. I’ll die in less than five minutes”
I should have ended the call at that minute brush it off with OAP sweet talk, but my hands froze on the control.
Sniff, sniff.
“Tell mum I really loved her. And dad, tell him we’ll meet in hell.”
Sniff, sniff again
“Bliss Eva” She sounded like she was talking from gritted teeth.
“Stella” I whispered. It seemed like I had known her since kindergarten and that we shared secrets. I was no longer in the studio, but in her room trying to hold her up and give her one of those big-sister hugs I have been practicing to give.
“Be fine Bliss Eva” Then the line went dead. Then silence. Then music. Then hands pulling me out of my chair. Then I realise that I have been crying. Then silent sobs had become loud ones as Bob hugged me tight, my head against his heartbeat.
The next day it was in the news. A girl had committed suicide. She was just 19. Don’t ask me why.
I hate myself now. I’m confused too. For the first time in my life I go to a club. It doesn’t turn out like I anticipated.
I still hear her voice: “Tell mum I really loved her… tell him we’ll meet in hell”
It sounds like a recording.
I think of my own mum and wonder if she’s crying tonight again. I should call, find out, but I’m numb. Suicide flirts in my mind.
Would I kill myself if Finn left me? If… dad had planted his seed in me instead of our maid who was now his wife?
“Be fine Bliss Eva” the dead girl had said to me...


Story by: Revealtor

Model: Joy Ngofaa

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